Photography by Jack Crublish
Words by Red
Originally published in Confusion Magazine – issue 37
This article could be run in stock standard format; a short story about the lifespan of East Perth DIY, the ramps that have slowly but surely been built, and the general plan of the place. However, seeing as the place was created by the renaissance man Snowy, the brains behind Bellyful Skateboards, stock standard simply cannot cut the mustard. Instead, delve into the oddities of this little DIY, situated next to a dead power plant on the banks of a shark infested river, in the worlds most isolated city.
At one point, there was so many mosquitos at the DIY that it was borderline impossible to stand still – the crew would rock up to build or skate, and get completely mauled by rogue mozzies that looked something akin to the facehuggers from the Alien franchise. While some took this as a signal to never return, the diehards simply rugged up, drank more beer and kept moving – you’d see people doing while dance moves and karate kits to fight off the swarms of the pests flying out of the bush, determined to take a quick bite. Before too long, numerous theories started to circulate about the origin of the ridiculously over – sized mozzies, with some sources claiming some were as large as a small dog. While the exact origin was never discovered, they fucked off over summer, giving everyone a much needed break from getting devoured by the hordes of death pests.
On the note of pests, the location of the DIY seemingly leads to strange characters rolling through. Situated next to a dead power plant, right on the banks of the Swan River (bull sharks snapping away at any skater brave enough to score buckets from the gloomy waters), and next to a popular bike path, the DIY has seen its fair share of interesting people, ranging from middle aged dads throwing a shakka at us while flying along on their carbon fibre electric skateboard that they blew their entire tax return on, local crackheads giving us their two cents on life, God, the universe at large and the price of cigarettes (typically before disappearing into the bushes), all the way to vloggers trying to document every cool thing outside of their tiny sheltered golden triangle in the city. A man approached us once, wearing hi-vis and carrying nothing but a shifter, gave us a thorough explanation as to why copper wiring is so expensive, why guns should be legal, and how shit the security systems (automatic machines that start blaring out warning signals through bullshit loud speakers) were on the abandoned power plant. After this short and somewhat intense discussion, he lit a smoke, disappeared into the bushes, and was never seen again – he did set some alarms off though, and some say they heard a scream off in the distance – but again, these myths have never been confirmed.
While the weirdos seem to drift through, the rubbish that seemingly appears from nowhere comes to hang out, and stay. The largest piece of junk we always see is our beer cans (guilty as charged, a portion of these must be some of ours), and they always seem to pile up behind the main quarter pipe hidden in the corner. Legend has it that all of these beer cans are essential for the foundations of the quarter pipe, and once removed it will simply crumble into dust, to be swept into the river. The sheer amount of strange shit that turns up is nothing short of phenomenal, and it’s almost a part of the experience to pick through the random things that turn up out of nowhere. We’ve found knives, prams, footballs, boots, lots and lots of needles, tools, ten – man tents, an entire wardrobes worth of clothing, catalogues and magazines, storage boxes… you name it, it’s probably down there. The latest score was a shattered disco ball, which added a bit of funk to the acid trip of colourful graffiti that covers the place. Why is it there? Who knows.
As of writing, there is an uncertain future ahead for our rickety little DIY – somewhat recently, roughly a quarter of the skatepark fell down in a landslide. Entire portions of the small quarter simply fell away – literally. There are talks of somehow incorporating this into the DIY, but a serious amount of concrete will be needed. More importantly, no one really knows exactly why it all fell to bits – we simply blamed it on a landslide, but is the whole park going to collapse? Is the power station next door sinking down into the Swan River, and taking our beloved shit hole with it? Will the powers that be see the landslide, and let the hounds loose to rip and rend apart all our creations?
Who knows. In the meanwhile, we dodge the rain and wait for the moment we can cruise back into our little spot, to karate kick mosquitos and spend far too long arguing about the position of a ramp. It may not be the greatest DIY to have ever graced the earth – but it’s ours, which is far more important, because when the dust settles, you either did it or you didn’t.
If you make it, bring beer. – Red
